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A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
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Obviously, the person who came up with the phrase "The freaks come out at night" has probably never been to Walmart during the day...
I don't understand this. When my friends come over to my house and they're like "Hey, do you have a bathroom?"
And I think to myself, "Of course we don't, we sh*t outside..."
Damn! LOL - Your #1 source for daily funny pics!
When a girl keeps going back to a guy who treats her bad, it's not because she's dumb, it's because she's not ready to give up hope, Hope that maybe someday he'll change
Dear 4th Grader,
On Facebook, your relationship status is "It's complicated". What he do? Steal your animal crackers?
I ordered a pizza the other day, when she said the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?"
I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them.
my f*cking neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning. can you believe that?! 2:30am! luckily for him I was still up playing my drums.
So get ya knees flexin’ and your arms T-rexin’
Do the creep (haaaa)
And do the creep (haaa)
""Nerd?" We prefer the term "intellectual bad ass."".....Whatever NERD!
I'm telling the truth, but then I smile, and then they think I'm lying.
I don't care how old I am, just get me a damn advent calendar!!!
'hello!' *no reply* ohh yeah i forgot i only excist when you want me too.
Me: You Ask,
Friend: No, You Ask,
Friend: No Why Can't you ask?
Me: I'm to shy...
Friend: Ok, Ok i'll ask. Hey, my friend wants to ask you something...
I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, "Hello?" As if the bad guy is gonna be like, "Yeah, I`m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?.."
Don't you just hate it when your having a conversation with someone and then your spit decides to leap out of your mouth and land on the other person.
Even weirder is the fact both of you know what has just happened and you just ignore it...
To all the players out there, Women are born angels and when someone breaks our wings,we continue to fly...on broomsticks...So watch Out!
**** Things that make you go hmmmm? ****
Why is there an eject button on a DVD remote? I mean I still have to get up and take the DVD out...
It's like having a remote to open the fridge...
There Should Be A 99p Coin
I decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
I will never cheat in a Relationship.
When you're in class and you purposely break the tip of your pencil just so you can walk past your friend, to get to the bin and for those few moments while you're not doing any work, you feel more superior...
I saw a cute little six or seven year old girl wearing Hannah Montana socks.
I asked her if she liked Hannah Montana.
She said no; she liked to wear these socks,
because she got to step on Miley Cyrus every time she walked.
I love this kid.
"No friends in common" "So that's a 'no' to Mujhammad".
Conspiracy Theory #87:
What if we can really breathe in space and "The Man" just doesn't want us to escape...
*Kid wakes up in class.
Teacher: asks student "can you tell me what that is?"
*kids best friend mouths "4" while lifting his fingers, the student thanks him with a nod and reply's "4"
Teacher: looking confused and disappointed says "So the first native tribe to make a treaty with France was... 4?"
Gotta love your friends.
Money is made of paper, paper is made of wood, and wood is made from trees. Therefore, money does grow on trees. 1 point for us 0 points for people who say money don't grow on trees(:
Guy: "Wow that girl is hot with a great voice!" Girl: "That's Justin Bieber..." Guy: "Never speak of this moment."
3 men were drunk, they stopped a taxi. the taxi driver figured that they were drunk, he just switched on the engine & switched it off & told them, 'we’ve arrived'. the 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him. the taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them would realized that the car didn't move an inch. so he asked, what was that for? control your speed next time, you almost killed us.’
My phone is second nature to me. I know all of it's functions and where everything is in the menu. But as soon as I handle someone else phone, I'm like "WTF is this foreign piece of Sh*t?"
What girls want:
1) Find a perfect boyfriend.
2) Date that perfect someone.
3)Wait for him to propose to her.
4) Get married and have you own family
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