Obviously, the person who came up with the phrase "The freaks come out at night" has probably never been to Walmart during the day...
I don't understand this. When my friends come over to my house and they're like "Hey, do you have a bathroom?"
And I think to myself, "Of course we don't, we sh*t outside..."
Once you start to dislike someone. Everything they do begins to annoy you.
Dear 4th Grader,
On Facebook, your relationship status is "It's complicated". What he do? Steal your animal crackers?
Sincerely,
Your Mother.
When a girl keeps going back to a guy who treats her bad, it's not because she's dumb, it's because she's not ready to give up hope, Hope that maybe someday he'll change
I ordered a pizza the other day, when she said the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?"
I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."
I'm just a typical teenager?
I have a messy room.
I am moody.
I have fallouts/arguments.
I swear.
I moan most of the time.
I spend most of my time on my laptop.
I have private things on my phone.
I go to bed late.
So mum and dad.. deal with it.
the awkward moment when a girl says she's heartbroken because her boyfriends dumped her and she's only 12..
Being sarcastic and everyone thinks you are being serious..
Whenever someone texts me back saying "rofl" I always think of Scooby Doo trying to say "Waffle".....
The other night me and my girlfriend had an argument just before bed. She called me childish and said I have to sleep on the couch.
But the jokes on her, because I built a fort out of the cushions on the couch and i hung a "Girls Not Allowed" sign up.
Is it just me or does everything seem funnier when you're supposed to be quiet?
*** I Always Do This ****
Whenever I get out of a hot bath and it's a cold night, I stand and look at my self in the mirror and pretend that i'm a radioactive super hero!
Rumors. Gotta love 'em. I find out stuff about me I didn't even know. :)
I love it when somebody sees me, screams my name & then runs to hug me :")
"your whipped!" - "no 'bruv, it's called being faithful, Pr*ck"
Dear Internet Users,
One day, you will all regret not reading me...
Sincerely,
Terms & Conditions.
Giving a certain look and your best friend knows exactly what you mean.
The awkwardness when you still can't understand someone after they've repeated themselves about 4 times.
Spitting Your Drink Out Because You're Laughing
The difference between men and women. When a woman is asked how she would feel if she caught her husband in bed with another man she replies " Devastated". Men are only devastated when told he's not allowed to join in.
If I sleep to much, my parents complain. If I don’t get enough sleep, my parents complain. If I eat too much, my parents complain. If I don’t eat enough, my parents complain. If I’m always in my room, my parents complain. If I go out too much, my parents complain. I CAN’T WIN!!
To whomever wrote:
"10 things a typical teenage girl can"t live without...
1. A Mobile Phone
2. A Laptop or Computer with internet access
3. Headphones
4. A Warm Hoodie
5. Music
6. A Facebook, Msn, or YouTube account
7. Sleep
8. Unlimited Texts
9. Hair Straighteners
10. Reality TV
5 things a typical teenage boy can"t live without...
1. COD
2. COD
3. COD
4. COD
5. COD"
That's unfair. I'm a teenage boy and I'm quite fond of oxygen.
"Hey" ... 2 hours later ... "Hey" ... No it's too late i dont wanna talk to you now.
I don't care how busy you are, just text me so I know you're okay... :/
"We're just friends"
Actually meaning;
"We love each other but we're too afraid to admit it to each other..."
Hey b*tch, you might wanna move away from the radiator, plastic melts when it gets too hot ;)
**** Fact #146 ****
More money is spent on fake b00bs and viagra than treatment for alzeimers!
By 2024 the elderly are going to have big perky b00bs and rock hard c0cks and they won't even remember why...
"Dude, she just called you alcoholic!"- "Oh,hell no! Hold my... haha just kidding, don't touch my VODKA''
When I turn 18... I'll be able to legally do all the things I've been doing since age 13 :)
You fight like a married couple, you talk like best friends, you flirt like first loves, and protect each other with your lives, obviously its meant to be.