I do what I want, where I want, when I want, with who I want, for as long as I want, where ever I want.......
Obviously, the person who came up with the phrase "The freaks come out at night" has probably never been to Walmart during the day...
I don't understand this. When my friends come over to my house and they're like "Hey, do you have a bathroom?"
And I think to myself, "Of course we don't, we sh*t outside..."
Best ever game as a child: make sure the balloon does not touch the floor
When a girl keeps going back to a guy who treats her bad, it's not because she's dumb, it's because she's not ready to give up hope, Hope that maybe someday he'll change
Dear 4th Grader,
On Facebook, your relationship status is "It's complicated". What he do? Steal your animal crackers?
Sincerely,
Your Mother.
I ordered a pizza the other day, when she said the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?"
I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."
The embarrassment when you walk out of the house and have to go back in to change, because you realise that you're just too sexy for your shirt!! :/
Secretly every teen looks at little kids on a trampoline, jungle gym, or bounce house, and thinks,"You lucky little b*stard, I would kill to be on that and not look like a f*cking retard."
Girls are like apples. The best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them,when,in reality,they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree
That little smile after a kiss :')
I failed my politics exam the other day because of one question...
The question was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world?"
Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer...
Like this if you're that girl that eats like a pig and is still underweight (:
Dear America,
Since you released upon us the horror that is Miley Cyrus, we have decided to retaliate.
Its name is Justin Bieber and no-one will be spared.
Yours faithfully,
Canada.
I want to be the girl he's scared to lose; the one where he can't walk away from knowing she's mad at him, The one who can't fall asleep without her voice being the last one he hears. the one he can't live without
Being strangers, then friends, then more than friends, then strangers again
I always double check I've hung up on them before I start BlTCHING
The awkward moment when people are singing happy birthday to you so you just sit there in the middle of it all with a poker face wondering what to do...
"We're just friends"
Actually meaning;
"We love each other but we're too afraid to admit it to each other..."
I'M SUCH A BAD ASS..... i installed a program. it asked if I had read and agreed to the terms and conditions.
i hadn't, but i clicked 'yes' anyway.
5 biggest lies told by TEENAGERS:
1. Seriously dude, I don't like anyone.
2. Everything's fine.
3. Can't, doing homework.
4. I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions.
5. I am sure that I am over 18 and understand that this
website contains explicit content that is not suitable for minors.
If a girl leans towards you, headbut her.
If a girls hand is free, get her to hold your bag.
If your girl logs off, demand the bitch texts you.
And if shes upset, tell her to grow a set of balls.
England: The country where Pizza gets to your house quicker than the Police
When I go out with my friends, I like to be the designated driver. I don't mind them getting ridiculously drunk and having a good time. When it's time to go, that's when my fun begins. I like to drop them off at the wrong houses just to confuse them.
No matter how old or young you are, whether you are male or female, when you see a bubble near you, you will try your hardest to try and catch it...
Like This If: You play Sims and you kill them all. Make them cheat on their spouses. Set their house on fire. Make their children get taken away by Child services. Make a burglar rob them. Have them abducted by aliens. Make them pee themselves. Force them to eat rotten food.
Whenever someone texts me back saying "rofl" I always think of Scooby Doo trying to say "Waffle".....
So...
A neutron walks into a bar.
The neutron ask the bartender:
"How much do you charge for a beer?"
The bartender looks up and down on him, and says:
"For you, no charge."
Physics joke haha. :D
"Best friend got the girl, so I nailed his sister."
-Harry Potter
*********BOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!************
Ypu just got good luck for 24hrs by reading this 'Like'. Keep it going and click the 'Like' button to spread good luck to all your friends.
Boy: can i touch your software?
Girl: show me first your hardware
Boy: can i install it in your system?
Girl: OK! if you cover it with anti-virus first!
how can someone you once were so close to, just all of a sudden ignore you like its no big deal