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Lord please give me patience, because if you give me strength, I may just beat the living crap out of someone...
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Obviously, the person who came up with the phrase "The freaks come out at night" has probably never been to Walmart during the day...
I don't understand this. When my friends come over to my house and they're like "Hey, do you have a bathroom?"
And I think to myself, "Of course we don't, we sh*t outside..."
Damn! LOL - Your #1 source for daily funny pics!
When a girl keeps going back to a guy who treats her bad, it's not because she's dumb, it's because she's not ready to give up hope, Hope that maybe someday he'll change
Dear 4th Grader,
On Facebook, your relationship status is "It's complicated". What he do? Steal your animal crackers?
I ordered a pizza the other day, when she said the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?"
I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."
3 RULES OF LIFE....
#1...it doesnt hurt when we pinch our elbows
#2...idiots will try #1
#3...idiots will laugh at #2 cuz its true
Going to MacDonalds for a salad roll is like going to a brothel for a hug.
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull."
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!"
The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"
Be careful who you open up to. only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious.
Feeling sad that your dream wasn't real
5 things boys should know about girls.
1. when we look at your mouth we want to you kiss us.
2. when we say we're fine, we're really not.
3. when we say we're cold we want you to hug us.
4. when we don't wear makeup it's because we trust you.
5. when we put our hands by our side we want you to hold it.
I believe that “Stalking” is such a strong word.
I like to look at it as “intense research on an individual”
That awkward moment if Rebecca Black couldn't get a seat in a car, cause it just so happened to be a 2 seated car.
Dear Justin Bieber,
…..____________________ , ,__
……/ `—___________—-_____] – - – - – - – - ░ ▒▓▓█D
…..), —.(_(__) /
….// (..) ), —-”
Me: You Ask,
Friend: No, You Ask,
Friend: No Why Can't you ask?
Me: I'm to shy...
Friend: Ok, Ok i'll ask. Hey, my friend wants to ask you something...
When you walk up to somebody on a computer, how do you know they were watching p*rn?
Because they are just sitting there on the Google homepage...
A p*nis has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbour is an a**hole, his bestfriend is a p*ssy and his owner beats him!
Three girls running from the cops, a blonde, Brunette, and a red head..
they all hide and the cop comes by looks at a garbage can and says:
Hmm i wonder whats in here, the red head says squeek squeek and he leaves
He passes a dog house and says:
Hmm whats in here, the Brunette says Woof Woof!, nd he leaves..
He passes a Potato sack and says:
Hmm whats in here, the Blonde says PO-TA-TOES!!
Last night I was laying in my bed looking up at the stars thinking to myself... "WHERE THE F*CK IS MY ROOF?!"
"How was the test?" "I failed..."
ENEMY - HAHAHAHA! Serves you right!
FRIEND - Okay...
GOOD FRIEND - Aww cheer up. You'll do better next time.
BEST FRIEND - HAHAHAHA! I FAILED TOO! HIGH-FIVE!
Best friends are awesome!
I remember when my best friend was the shy and quiet one... I created a monster:D
When I turn 18... I'll be able to legally do all the things I've been doing since age 13 :)
If I actually did "live like there's no tomorrow". I'd be in jail.
8 of the worst pains in the world:
1) knocking your elbow or knee against a table or chair real hard.
2) burning your tongue on a hot drink.
3) stepping on a sharp rock or prickle.
4) paper cuts.
5) stubbing your toe
6) biting you tongue!
7) getting kicked in the balls.. or childbirth...
8) listening to 'Friday' by Rebecca Black....
Being blamed for something you didn't do then laughing so they think you did.
I don't understand why people cheat. If you're not happy, just leave.
God gave us two ears to hear. God gave us two eyes to see. God gave us two hands to hold.
But why did God only give us 1 heart?
Because he want's us to find the other one.
Women! They just don't have a sense of humour. My friend's wife didn't find it as funny as I did when I replaced her tampons with party poppers...
It's amazing how one day someone walks into your life, then the next day you wonder how you lived without them ♥
to the person who made this
..../""""""""""""======░▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█D Justin Beiber
well done, well done
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