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When a woman says "What" it's not because she didn't hear you - she is giving you a CHANCE to CHANGE what you just said!
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Obviously, the person who came up with the phrase "The freaks come out at night" has probably never been to Walmart during the day...
I don't understand this. When my friends come over to my house and they're like "Hey, do you have a bathroom?"
And I think to myself, "Of course we don't, we sh*t outside..."
Mocking people in a voice they don't even have.
When a girl keeps going back to a guy who treats her bad, it's not because she's dumb, it's because she's not ready to give up hope, Hope that maybe someday he'll change
Dear 4th Grader,
On Facebook, your relationship status is "It's complicated". What he do? Steal your animal crackers?
I ordered a pizza the other day, when she said the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?"
I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."
Being sarcastic and everyone thinks you are being serious..
Girls don't dress up to impress guys. Girls dress up to out dress other girls. If they wanted to impress guys, they would just walk around naked....
Girl- Who do you like?
Boy- I'm talking to her :)
Girl- Awww :)
Boy- Oh not you, it's another girl Im talking to.
When I say LOL, what I really mean is I made a really loud outward breath through my nostrils much like a bull does...
When I say LMAO, what I actually mean is I made a little sound while laughing a little.
When I say LMFAO, what I actually mean is I sat there in my chair laughing out loud...
Take me as I am, or watch me as I go.
"F*cking" is a f*cking word that can f*cking be put anyf*ckingwhere in a f*cking sentence and it f*cking still makes f*cking sense.
Spread the fail whale
I like mario. he's cool. he's all like " hello, im maaarrio, im a Italian plumber created by japanese people, who speaks English and looks like a Mexican."
When you're a fast texter, two minutes is a long time to wait for a reply.
I Talk to My Pet Like It is a Baby
Excuse Me Please Excuse Me Please EXCUSEEEE MEEEE, AH MOVE MAN
that urge you get to write "No one gives a sh*t" on someone's status.
I go to party's, so I'm an alcoholic.
Some of my shirts are cleavagy, so I'm a slut.
I wear make-up and straighten my hair, so I'm fake.
I sometimes make innapropriate jokes, so I'm trashy.
I'm still buddies with some of my girl friends exes, so I'm a backstabber.
I cry, so I'm emotional.
I speak my mind, so I'm a bitch.
I wear some clothes that are out of style, and sometimes just throw my hair in a ponytail, so I'm ugly.
So I guess I should be a nun.
No wait, then I'd be boring.
The difference between School & Life? In School, you're taught a lesson & then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson ♥
"please don't go, I never want to stop talking to you, you're the best, I love you"
like if you've ever felt like this.
You look like i need a drink!
Once you start to dislike someone. Everything they do begins to annoy you.
using your phone in the dark as a torch
Who else flushes the toilet just as they start to pee to see if they can finish before the toilet has finished flushing?
Oh look it's someone's birthday, Let me wish them Happy Birthday....Wait, wait, wait, they never wished me on my birthday or anything....
t(- -)t F*ck 'Em
"Haha You Failed", "Yeah Like Your Mums Abortion."
Oh really? You actually want to have a fight with me over the internet? Ok, you asked for it. You're going to regret it now. Im going to unleash the fury of CAPSLOCK!
TEACHERS CALL IT CHEATING. WE CALL IT TEAMWORK. :))
Don't get ahead of yourself, remember what you're celebrating for. Not for the death of Bin Laden, but for the peace, the loved ones, and the accomplishment
Every Day I'm shufflin'.......
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