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When a woman says "What" it's not because she didn't hear you - she is giving you a CHANCE to CHANGE what you just said!
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Obviously, the person who came up with the phrase "The freaks come out at night" has probably never been to Walmart during the day...
I don't understand this. When my friends come over to my house and they're like "Hey, do you have a bathroom?"
And I think to myself, "Of course we don't, we sh*t outside..."
Damn! LOL - Your #1 source for daily funny pics!
When a girl keeps going back to a guy who treats her bad, it's not because she's dumb, it's because she's not ready to give up hope, Hope that maybe someday he'll change
Dear 4th Grader,
On Facebook, your relationship status is "It's complicated". What he do? Steal your animal crackers?
I ordered a pizza the other day, when she said the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?"
I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it's probably a cow in disguise, don't let it fool you!
The world isn't going to end in 2012..... but if it does, I'd like to see you prove me wrong, when we're dead.
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
Hanging My Clothes Up On My Floordrobe...
Blonde: Look! You can get a laptop here for four dollars!
Blonde: Yeah! And it's even big!
Brunette: We're at McDonald's. They don't sell computers.
Blonde: Yes they do! Check the menu! Big Mac - $4.
I hate it when you're sitting in the cinema ready to watch the movie and the next thing you know BOOM. human giraffe sits in front of you.
Girl: Happy Valentines Day!
Boy: Um... yeah :)
-Girl passes him a big box of chocolates-
-Boy passes her a tiny box, to which she looks dissapointed-
Boy: Now, before you open this, I want you to know something... I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore...
Girl: (Shocked) -Opens box- *Gasp*
Boy: Because I want to be your husband.
Like if you know what's in the box
Go and get your own boyfriend and stop Stalking MINE !!!!
I Hate Getting Texts That Only Say "k"
When a girl hacks a Facebook account: OMG Amy! You have been hacked By Megan! Love Ya
When a boy hacks a Facebook account: Im gay!
I Don't Mind When Our Conversations Get A Little Boring Or When We're Texting & We Run Out Of Things To Say . I Don't Care When We're Hanging Out & We're Doing Absolutely Nothing , Because Just Having You Is Enough To Make Me Happy
Like if you have ever done one of these things...
1. Gone up a down escalator
2. Tried to make a fish follow your finger
3. Gone in the fridge for no reason
4. Stared at someone to see if they would realise
5. Pretended to drive when in the passengers seat
6. Played air guitar madly
7. (Boys only) Become addicted to COD
8. Watched water droplets fall down a window to see who would win
9. Picked everything off a pizza
10. Laughed at random memories
Saying 'OOWWWWW' Just before you think it's going to hurt, then feel stupid because it doesn't. :P
I Hate When This Happens:
I lost my phone. Oh wait let me call it!
CRAP, it's on vibrate!
I watch CSI, NCSI, Law & Order, Criminal Minds and Unusual Suspects. I can kill you 19 ways and make it look like Alvin and the chipmunks did it. So don't f*ck with me...
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body." "That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean" So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on. The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?" "No I'm a blonde", she replies. "I thought so.. your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.
The awkward moment when I'm drunk and you're still ugly...
When my girlfriend got her new kitten, she said that she would love if it would be that small and cute forever.
She's going to be so suprised when i get if stuffed for her birthday...
I'm so good at cooking even the fire alarm cheers me on.
There was this lady and she really wanted to have s*x, but she was to scared to ask her husband so she went to a jipsy and told her her problem.
The jipsy rummaged around in a chest and pulled out a pickle jar with a p*nis in it, and said "All you have to do is open the jar and say 'Pickle p*nis my v*gina' and it will start having s*x with you".
So later she tries out the pickle p*nis and it works great. That is until her husband walks in and he shouts "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" and the woman says "It's a pickled p*nis"
Unfortunately her husband replied "PICKLE P*NIS MY A$$"
Yes I spend a lot of time on the internet.....
No it doesn't mean I'm anti-social...
The colour 9 is my favourite letter...
The new report card system:
A = Asian
B = Below Asian
C = Can't be Asian
D = Don't bother trying to be Asian
F = F*ck it, you'll never be Asian
Five Important Qualities
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
I really want to be chased by a cop car while im on a bicycle so I can shout BUMBLEEEEE!
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