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''Hey,want some updog?'' Person: ''What is that?'' You: ''What is what?'' Person: ''Updog?'' You: ''What about it?'' Person: ''What is it?'' You: ''What is what?'' Person: ''WHAT IS UPDOG?!'' You: ''Not much'' Likee if you get it (;
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Obviously, the person who came up with the phrase "The freaks come out at night" has probably never been to Walmart during the day...
I don't understand this. When my friends come over to my house and they're like "Hey, do you have a bathroom?"
And I think to myself, "Of course we don't, we sh*t outside..."
Damn! LOL - Your #1 source for daily funny pics!
When a girl keeps going back to a guy who treats her bad, it's not because she's dumb, it's because she's not ready to give up hope, Hope that maybe someday he'll change
Dear 4th Grader,
On Facebook, your relationship status is "It's complicated". What he do? Steal your animal crackers?
I ordered a pizza the other day, when she said the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?"
I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."
Ever notice that in The Wizard of Oz, The Scarecrow, The Tinman, The Lion, and The Wizard were all men;~~~ no brains, no heart, no courage and a liar?
Boy: Is your name Google?, Girl: NO!!... Why? , Boy: Because you got everything I am searching for :)
dad: "When I beat you at games and stuff, never get annoyed. How do you control your anger?
Son: "Well I start cleaning the toilet."
Father:"Huh? how does that satisfy you?"
Son: "I use your toothbrush!"
What's the hardest past about getting a new computer?
Debating whether to start the p*rn = virus cycle again...
boy: I have something I have to say..
boy: I lo-
girl: *Smiles and blushes*
boy: -st the game
Don't you hate it when you're texting lying down on your bed and all of a sudden your phone decides to be ninja and slips through your hands and attacks your face?
How Kids Are Influenced By Music #1
Kids Before: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.
Kids now: Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me.
Boy:*kneels down on one knee*
girl:w-what are y-you doing *blushes like crazy*
boy:*looks up nd smiles* Ive been wanting to do this for a long time
EPIC FAIL XD
J.K. Rowling, I was fine when you said that Harry's parents were dead. Fine, when you killed Sirius. Okay, when you killed Hedwig and Mad-Eye. A little mad when you killed Dumbledore. BUT YOU CROSSED THE LINE BY KILLING DOBBY!!!!!!!!!!
Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"
Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king. :P
To the first two people who thought Superman was a bird, then a plane....
What the f*ck was you so excited about?
No matter how old you are, no matter how much of a bada$$ you think you are, if a toddler hands you thier ringing toy phone, you answer it....
I love your food but damn your prices are damn expensive.
Harry: I can talk to snakes
Ron: Yeah well Dumbledore gave me his magic lighter
Harry: I have an invisibility cloak
Ron: I have parents
Harry: I banged your sister
**** At The MTV Music Awards ****
Host: ...and the greatest white rapper of all time is Emin....
Kanye West: Im sorry but I believe Dr Seuss is the greatest white rapper of all time....
Smart Idea #55:
The week that a girl is on her period should be referred to as "Blow Job Week"
Today, I decided that I want to be a ninja when I grow up. I Googled "Ninja School" to see where I can be professionally trained in the art. I followed a link that said Ninja School, and the page could not be found. Well played, Ninja School!
**** Who else does this? ****
Mentally saying 'Wed-nes-day' before writing it down?
If Barbie Is So Popular, then why do you have to buy all of her friends?!
I love it when somebody sees me, screams my name & then runs to hug me :")
When you are texting in class and the door opens and you have that little heart attack hoping that it is not a teacher or principle.
life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind!
I play with my phone when I'm waiting for someone so I don't look stupid
My phone is second nature to me. I know all of it's functions and where everything is in the menu. But as soon as I handle someone else phone, I'm like "WTF is this foreign piece of Sh*t?"
**** I see what you did there -_- ****
That awkward moment when when you realise that there are two "when's" in the sentence and and also two "and's'"
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