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''Hey,want some updog?'' Person: ''What is that?'' You: ''What is what?'' Person: ''Updog?'' You: ''What about it?'' Person: ''What is it?'' You: ''What is what?'' Person: ''WHAT IS UPDOG?!'' You: ''Not much'' Likee if you get it (;
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Obviously, the person who came up with the phrase "The freaks come out at night" has probably never been to Walmart during the day...
I don't understand this. When my friends come over to my house and they're like "Hey, do you have a bathroom?"
And I think to myself, "Of course we don't, we sh*t outside..."
Best ever game as a child: make sure the balloon does not touch the floor
When a girl keeps going back to a guy who treats her bad, it's not because she's dumb, it's because she's not ready to give up hope, Hope that maybe someday he'll change
Dear 4th Grader,
On Facebook, your relationship status is "It's complicated". What he do? Steal your animal crackers?
I ordered a pizza the other day, when she said the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?"
I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."
You think reading Shakespeare is hard? Imagine the poor people in a couple of hundred years time, who will be reading " So, like, I was like maaate I'm gonna shank yuu so ard bruv! and den Tairone was like "you havin' a bubble," and I was like "No mate, are you thick doe! but Shanesse was like OMG doe, Actual LOL innit! because she got a text from Brandon who said that Christa was like, on the chunder train after downing a whole bottle of Voddy and Strongy B......."
I'm just a typical teenager?
I have a messy room.
I am moody.
I have fallouts/arguments.
I moan most of the time.
I spend most of my time on my laptop.
I have private things on my phone.
I go to bed late.
So mum and dad.. deal with it.
10 signs that you know your falling in love
1. You get jelouse when he talks to other girls
2. Cant stop thinking about him
3. You smile every time your around him
4. You never wanna stop talking to him
5. You always wanna be around him
6. You get butterflys whenever you talk to him.
7. You never want to leave him
8. Alwys talk to your friends about him
9. You fantisise about hm
10. This whole time youve been thinkng about 1 certain person :)
Mirror Mirror - A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust line forty four".
Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her bre*sts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my p*nis touch the floor!".
Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fall off.
To whomever wrote:
"10 things a typical teenage girl can"t live without...
1. A Mobile Phone
2. A Laptop or Computer with internet access
4. A Warm Hoodie
6. A Facebook, Msn, or YouTube account
8. Unlimited Texts
9. Hair Straighteners
10. Reality TV
5 things a typical teenage boy can"t live without...
That's unfair. I'm a teenage boy and I'm quite fond of oxygen.
Mom: did you finish your homework and chores?
You: (rolls eyes) YEEES mom I'm not two years old
*three hours later* HOLY CRAP!!! I haven't even started that essay!!
I ♥ my own bed. But I’ll be honest, I'd much rather be in yours ;)
I am not random YOU just can't think as fast as me.
All the world leaders have hinted that there might be a bank holiday to mark Osama Bin Ladens death...
So, all together now
We're all going on Osama holiday...
When I cross a one way road, I still look both ways just in case there are any women driving...
How cool would it be if each country had facebook!!!??? lol.....
Japan wrote on chinas wall....
America poked Afganistan...
England has 0 friends.....
Some people wish that Morgan Freeman narrated their lives. I on the other hand would choose Optimus Prime...
Theres always one friend who eats everyone's gherkins in Mcdonalds
Little old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs can't fool me!
The best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything from anyone
I've got a dilemma, I haven't washed up for weeks, so....
Do I now wash the dishes...?
Do I attempt to eat cornflakes from a cup.... with a knife...?
Like this if you don't smoke (̅_̅_̅_̅(̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()ڪے~
Dear Students, I know when you're texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles every five minutes.
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that
Condom says to Tampax: you put me out of business for 1 week a month!!
Tampax says to Condom: If you don't do your job right I lose mine for 9 months!!!!
a PARTY with no DRINK is like a FUNERAL with no DEAD PERSON ..
Checking Your Sent Messages Because Youre Confused At The Reply :)
i dont care if your hair isnt straight,
i dont care if you bite your nails,
i dont care if your teeth are wonky,
i dont care if your not as skinny as another girl,
i dont care if eyelashes arent long enough,
all i want is a good sandwich.
Dwayne Johnson, you will always be 'The Rock' in my heart.
You know when you're too drunk to drive when you swerve to try and miss a tree then you realise that it was your air freshener hanging from your rear view...
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